Choose now; the Truth or later consequences!?!

Do you wanne live; with the truth or the later consequences?

Saturday i was on a wedding from my cousin. I don’t know her really close and the husband I never met before. It was not so special, I had on that day no tie (hate them) and had a three day beard (love him). One of My Mentor was also there & didn’t like it and he made it really clear that it looked not impressive for a wedding. So I get offended, because I’m an actor and he didn’t take it as an excuse. Personally I know that an offence always brings sickness to your health, but it still hit me that day and i knew he was right. My Mentor loves discipline, clear outfits and hates excuses, on that he makes no compromise. You can say that is nothing or that is hard, but i know everything starts with  little things. I rediscovered an important lesson for me on that day and made a clear decision.

Surround yourself with people who tell you the hard truth. Who don’t fear to smash it right unto your face, even if it hurts, kicks out your plan/comfort, makes you angry, offend/insults you or destroy your relationship with the truth teller. Keep always in mind, it’s easier to say nothing and let you do whatever you want. That isn’t a real friend. That is a selfish people pleasing enemy and he just stay there look how you drive into your defeat and do nothing to stop you. He wouldn’t tell you if you poison yourself, because he wants his peace, fears your reaction or he don’t care so much about you. In fact that is an enemy for your growth/life.  

Abraham Lincoln hated people pleaser in his close cabinet. He put Tomas Jefferson right into his cabinet( Jefferson was one of his biggest opponents) because he knew he never would say something to please him. He would always say something constructive critical, so that Abe could build on that, see the weakness and made his plan work. 

I know how the truth can hurt, I experienced a lot of this truths and I know that in my eyes this person looked for the moment like an enemy and I tried to get away from her, but when I look back now; this persons loved/cared more about me than anybody else in my circle. Why? It’s simple, because this person saw something to correct, had the love, the courage to confront me with that and was ready to get some uncomfort from my side. All the other people saw it too, but none of them said something. Maybe they didn’t saw it or whatever it was, but fact is nobody told it to me without this person. After that I could decide do I live with that/change it or do I ignore it because of my pride and get angry/offended to strike back. For example this moment from the wedding is a little thing and i know that was just for breakfast. I know sometimes the truth fall like bricks or rocks on you and here it's interessting to see how you handle it.

We lack in our time of people who confront us with the golden truth, most of the people don’t care or scared to say something. Or we cut this people out of our surrounding and hide from them, because it is hard for us to be with them. The people are more interested in hearing a beautiful inspiring spirit lifting lie, rather than a straight truth. We wane be cuddled and hugged with nice words, till the consequences get us.

I used and heard this sentence a lot, can you say it more softer/nicer, that is to rude, you have to lift my spirit up. The Problem about that is; you don’t hear it seriously or you don’t take all your attention on it or it keeps your pride, so you need 200 People who cheer your spirit up, boast your pride alive so you get ready to change your life. The interesting thing about hurt/pain is; we do anything to stop it immediately. It takes us out of our comfort and we try as fast as possible to change that. 

Did you see something wrong someone doing in the past? I mean doing something that; destroys, irritate, annoy, and break him or the people around him? How easy is it to confront that person? It is much easier to say nothing, to let him do what he wants, so you have your peace, he learns it somehow or let someone else do this job I’m not his mother attitude. That is a sign for hate, because you love your peace more than his future, the other persons and let him do it wrong. Don't be that persons.  

If we don’t have this people or don’t listen to them, we have to live with the consequences. Sometimes for the rest of our lives, sometimes we only just hit our head on a problem, but in the end we pay for it. It’s a principle of life; you reap always what you sow.  

That lesson I took from it for me personally; first to surround myself with people who have the courage to correct me and second to swallow my offences down and love them. So I can change for good and be victorious in my life. Don’t forget it’s for our own good. 

Greetz from Viktorious

Great Mentor Motivation!

Here's how a great Coach/Mentor can help us to reach our full potential. Especially when it hurts. It is for every Area of Life. It's a bonus for my post about; Someone to follow you looking up.

"Mentors" the importance of a Mentor

The importance of a Mentor/Adviser/Guider/Pastor/counselor/Coach/Sheppard/Father

I'm really thankful for my Mentor, without her i would struggle very hard and had no results in life. My Mentor believed in me, when no one did it. My Mentor invested her precious time, Energy, love, nerves and even money to help me to become the man I am now. Thanks for her big patience with me, because I’m still learning from her and sometimes it’s not easy. So I want to share what successful people all have. 

Now I’m asking you, do you have a Mentor/Adviser/Guider/Pastor/Counselor/Coach/Sheppard? If yes, it is a big Bonus. If no, you need one. For example it could be a Parent, friend, uncle, Teacher, Coach, it don’t matter who he is, what matters how he guides you through your crisis/challenges.

 If you say I do not have or need a mentor, it’s because you don’t analyze yourself. A lot people take cheap advice from poor friends, TV, Opinion’s and own experiences. So choose carefully whose advice you follow to make it in life.

Why do I need one? It’s simple; everybody on this earth has a crisis from time to time or has Goals/plans that stuck from time to time or has an ambitious dream what stuck, and in this times good advice is very precious and rare. In that stressful time, when our focus lacks, we can’t sleep, find the right way, the right words, our emotions overwhelm our brain and we limited in our thinking and balance; the mentor can breathe new life into us. Like give us a new strategy, new way, new thought, encouragement, the right advice and push us back into our right balance or inspire us to reach for our dream.  

The main task of a Mentor is to give his knowing, experience, wisdom, shelter encouragement or help to guide you to your Goal/success/grow/. That you don’t have, because you’re limited in that area.

How to find a good mentor? First you have to know what you want (in life/goals/plans/needs) and chose someone who achieved what you want. For example, if you want to become financial independent, ask a man who it is. Whatever it is you want; ask someone who achieved it or is on his way to get it. I mean someone who has your respect and you looking at to become like him.

I think I don’t have to write what a bad so called mentor can do. Everybody felt betrayal from some people in his life. From People who couldn’t handle our needs/Goals, for whatever it was, so they sticked their knife into our backs and let us bleeding on the ground. I had them too, so when you found a trustworthy mentor/friend, never let them go.

A short list what a good mentor does;

+ Good mentors tell you the truth, even if it’s not nice to hear and hurts. When they care about you they tell you always the truth. Give feedback. Never degrade/jokes on you or your feelings. That changes you.

+ Good mentors always challenge/encourage and discipline you to stretch out for more.

+ Good mentors don’t wait for our thanks and deal with our unthank fullness victim outburst, from time to time.  

+ Good mentors always care about your personally soul balance and help you to grow big. They’re always there when you need them.

+ Good mentors teach/teach you the right values, principles, lessons and take care you learn it with discipline. So you can become like they are or even grow higher, someday you become a mentor for someone. They invest themselves with time, energy, patience and love into others.

                                          

I had the luck to grow with my mentor. She helped me to realize my potential as an Actor. Then she helped me to find the right direction and to stay now on it. Without her my life had been very hard and I don’t try to imagine where I would be right now without her. For me personally she’s like Alexander the Great, Napoleon, I have big respect for her and every word she saying is like God himself talking to me.

Keep in mind everybody needs a good mentor, counselor. It makes Life easier if you listen and do what they say nothing less or more. So simple!

Greetz from Viktorious

The Key to great (Un)happyiness and great Deppression

For everyone who wants to be (un)happy, here’s how to do it. 

I observed my colleagues, friends, TV, surroundings, myself and i analyzed all of us, what is the difference between successful happy people and unhappy people and i make my decision; to live a happy life. So i write what I'm not going to do/be.

The best way to get truly unhappy; is to life self-centered. That means;

- Try always to outsmart people, to make them to serve me and my needs, so i look great. That are people who see themselves as the center of the world, they have always bad days, and they work always with dump people and talk negative about others to feel/be great. They make the people around them look dump & little to be great or try to change them, instead working on themself. By the way it’s a sign of a low self-value complex.

- Try to avoid problems. Live by other people opinions and try to stay grey. Only eat, sleep, work, party, little fun, TV, avoid procrastination and stay in your comfort zone.

- Complain and tell where ever you can how hard your kife is, how bad you feel, how unfair you've been treated, how poor you are and so on. Prove everybody you're a victim and get their cheap compassion.

 

- Think and life all day in your yesterday or tomorow defeats, problems, failures and weaknesses. That is also very hard, when people didn’t train their mind to only focus on the positive things. Instead of sitting around and stay defeated, search for a solution. Every defeat holds a winning inside of it, when you find it and take it. For example; Edison he failed over thousand times with his Light and finally years later he got it. When he looked back he said i found over 1000 ways how it not works. So a lot people, i have an area too, life in their defeats of yesterday and don’t see the positive side of it or fear to step over it. 

So it is with weaknesses and problems, if you want to lose a battle/Fight/Money/Life/Game/Client/Partner/focus/Goal than focus on the weakness or problem and i assure you for hundred percent you gonna lose it.

 - Focus all the time on the bad things in life, people, world, country, project and judge it with your opinion. That are wise people, the think they know everything, they would never admit themselves that they know everything, but when you listen to them the impression comes automatically they have to rule the world and they are so smart. They can tell you what the neighbor does wrong, prove the president is a fool, the boss has no clue and they talk, talk and talk negatively. So these critics surround themselves with negativity and after a while people have to run away from them.

- Life in negative feelings, thoughts and do what you don't love. For example; make a test and go out in the morning and look the people in their faces. It is very sad to see how sad & worried people look, i know a lot of them still sleeping, thinking of the bad job, feeling tired from yesterday or whatever it is and it’s rare to find someone happy. A lot depends for example how you start your day, so get up in the morning and the first thing you do is complain, cry you want more sleep or bump your toe on the bed and scream in anger. Say something bad about you in the mirror. Than think of your bad job, bad boss, how they steel your nerves, money and time, than make on some music with heartbroken songs or the TV with fresh Gossip or problems and start your day convinced you're a victim. With this Technique you have a bad, hard and long day for sure, with lot of self-pity and victim moments.

I hope you see that unhappiness comes from egoisms, complaining’s and unthankfulness. It pulls self-pity, victim mentality, destroys happiness and finally brings people into depression. So the Doc gives them the legendary blue pills to live somehow through the day with yourself. 

Now you can ask, what can i do to be happy? Here's a short list;

+ Try today to help other people around you. Make compliments to raise their mode, make them big, by telling what they done good and how precious they are, say thank you, smile, help them to win with you and try to make someone’s day/life better, if its possible for a second.

+ Start your day with great feelings and thoughts, especially a bad rainy cloudy dark stress day. Smile in the morning to yourself and to the new day, pray to God, make good feel music and dance, read a success story, make plans to achieve something big today or help someone, think how to help the boss, give a flower to your loved ones. 

+ Be thankful, for; you still breathing today, your heart is still pumping, your legs, arms, Eyes, Head is intact, you have a work, House, apartment, driving car, bread on the table, peace, have a family, and you can be thankful all day long. Do it daily, say it to God and to yourself. That is a major weapon to be happy.

                                                   

+ Focus on the positive in people, projects, Goal, Partner, business, work and yourself but when you see something negative solve that problem, not by gossip talk and judgment. Don’t judge even if you can’t change it. 

+ Focus always on your strong sides. When you have a Project/Goal/Partner or Client focus on the good things or how to do/solve it great. When there is a known weakness focus on how to turn it into your strong side.

I wish it helps you to life a happy Life from now on. Hope nobody takes the key for an unhappy life serious. 

Greetz from Viktorious  

Stepping outside our comfort zone

Comfort Zone

Today i heard a lesson about crisis in our lives and without crisis we slide into our comfort, what kills us over a long term when we stay in our comfort.

Everybody on this earth heard the word comfort zone before. I heard it too. So i ask now again, what is comfort zone? Comfort zone is not only like a lot of people think; sitting on a couch and drinking beer, watching TV, go from Monday till Friday to work, Friday till Sunday party and then the week starts again. That isn’t comfort anymore, that’s a slave living or a prisoner. Let’s return to our comfort zone. It is more like a daily Routine, like drive always the same route to work, go always to the same supermarket, and meet the people I know for long time, daily habits, and thoughts. Everything what held our mind in status quo, relaxed, ambitionless and everything what gives us the feeling of security is our comfort zone.  Someone says now; that’s how i life, I love that kind of living. Or i don’t want to do everyday something new, or that is the best route to work or I don’t want to reach the sky.

In fact; Comfort zone is a sense of mental security. Everybody on this planet dreams about security, relaxation, peace and harmony, but the danger here is, you can never reach full security. For example the billionaires; they have a lots of money, but they are still stretching themselves to new projects. Or great Actors like Paul Newman, James Dean, Steve McQueen; they all made professional car driving beside their big Acting career. They pushed themselves out from comfort. Why?

Because they all know/knew it’s deadly for our growing, to life in the comfort zone. That’s why we need high goals for a years or months to achieve, something what stretches or helps us to step over our self-created comfort borders. If you do it not yourself, than life does (wife, Boss, Health, money issue) sends you crisis and you are forced to react on. 

All our Goals, dreams and visions in life start out of our comfort zone (the reason it’s called dreams). So if you want step outside your comfort zone you have to know exactly what you want and then jump into the cold water. Highly effective People are used to step outside their comfort zones to accomplish their goals. They even create crisis to solve them and doing so, they grow personally.

Comfort Zone is the enemy of success and growing personally. It is like muscle training, you have to start little and lift up the weights. If you stop your training, your muscle grows back after a period of time.

The longer you stay in your comfort, the harder it’s to break out. 

Never forget, if you stop stretching yourself, through high goals, new things, ideas, new habits, you open the door for degradation and it starts in your mind.

greetz from Viktorious